What If You Get Lost? - Attempting to Exist No.5

To get lost, you must first have a path to stray away from, so, congratulations. You have taken the biggest step. Now that you feel somewhat good about yourself, let’s try to figure out how to get back on track. I must give credit to Aristotle in this case since he will allow me to introduce the Golden Mean. This is basically a hint at living a balanced life, or the power of balance. To stray away from our path, we must have gone too far right, or left. I’m not saying that the road is straight, but thinking geometrically, you really have to go too far to one side to lose the road. Imagine skiing, not on a track, but through the woods. Although there may be some signs of a path to follow due to people skiing through the same forest before, we can say there is no apparent track to follow. In this case, at a particular point in the forest, there may be multiple choices in progressing through the forest but we know there is one - realistic plan -  that we have decided to follow to lead us to our destination - idealistic goal to chase - although we may not know which choice it specifically is. Consecutive decisions to the right or left will stray us away from the path. We move with intuition and the plan we have constructed or are trying to construct. Since pretty much all is unknown as we are not sure where our destination exactly is at the skirts of the mountain and how we’re going to get there, it is more than normal to stray away at times. All we know is that we have the equipment necessary to go through the forest, snow, and trees. Snow helps our equipment work so we thank that, we just have to watch out for icy spots. Trees are distractions. This is the case in most skiing situations as trees distract us from the path we’re attempting to take.

Now that we are aware of the situation we are in, knowing that we may stray away at times, we shall figure out how to minimize that and stay on path for as long as possible. Aristotle comes in now. A major cause of unhappiness is apparently being at one extreme or another, and the Golden Mean, finding the balance between the two will allow us to avoid that. Simplifying that into our skiing adventure, we need to find a balance between right and left turns as too many of one will lead to us going on another path or completing a circle. This balance does not necessarily mean an equal number of turns toward each way, we do not know where this balance is either. Balance in this adventure is more of a concept that will help our thinking to get to the desired destination - which we know little of. So, how do we find the path when we do not know the destination or not fully understand the principle that will let us find it?

I will be proposing one approach that may sound scary at first. We should first find the extremes. To understand this balance thing and the spectrum it resides on, we need to learn the extremes of the spectrum. Without knowing the boundaries of the matrix that we are acting on, how can we locate where we are in it? Think of it like a coordinate system. Simplifying the dimensions of our matrix, our point, where we are or should be, is on a line segment that has a rightmost and leftmost boundary. If we know the coordinates of the boundaries, we can connect the two points to figure out where and in which way our line segment lies. Only after this can we start an attempt to locate our ideal point on this line segment.

We now embark on a journey within a journey. We try going both extremely right and extremely left. In both cases, we may get too into the forest, encounter life-threatening situations such as coming unhealthily close to a bear (it is probably in hibernation but just bear with me), or even get too cold by being outside for so long. These we must endure. In the subset journey that we took the risk of even death, we will be able to see how uncomfortable and insensible the extremes may be. Through this road, we will be able to be comfortable in the uncomfortable because we cannot turn back. We are already lost, so going back to the starting point may be too risky, we will stay in the cold for long so we will learn to keep ourselves warm, if we see a predator we’ll learn to protect ourselves. Just reading the last few sentences back proves how insensible this sounds, but it is necessary to have a chance at achieving what’s hard. It will be totally normal to reconsider our decisions, doing a proper reassessment will be difficult. Nevertheless, sooner or later, we will understand exactly why the two extremes are not the correct road. Assuming intuitive thinking, one will be able to assess where in the coordinate system these two extremes are, and how far away one should be from each. Through trials and tribulations, countless considerations, one will find that the sum of the distances necessary to have from these extremes will equal the total distance between the two. So, the balance between the two will be found as well.

Before moving onto finding our path in the forest, I wish to make a comment on the extreme-finding journey. Since one puts themself through the hardest conditions in the extremes, one will realize the extent of their character. The definition of ‘character’ is up to discussion but this example is constant. If encountered a predator, one will know the furthest they will go to stay alive. If too cold, one will know the furthest they will go to adjust in order to succeed, possibly even giving up at one point, but I am not considering that because you, the reader, won’t. If alone for too long in the deep forest, one will know who they are and how they speak to themselves in trying times. One may realize disturbing facts about their own extremes, what they are capable of and how far they are willing to go in order to get what they want. In attempting to understand the coordinates of the extremes of the line they are trying to position themselves in, they will  understand their own character’s spectrum as well. This may very well be more important than the chase they are in, the path they chose, even the balance they will enact in their approach to the path. This journey will allow the person to enact balance in their character and regular life as well. It will be easier to know what decisions to make in circumstances that arise, as one will know what will happen if they struggle controlling their extremes, their reactions. You may ask why they cannot control their extremes otherwise. That is because until now, they did not have a deep understanding of their own extremes. Now that they do, their urges and extremes will be easier to control, allowing them to chase the ideal if they want to and do even more.

Coming back to our ski and snow, there is a major update to our knowledge. By figuring out the extremes, we have found the Golden Mean that will lead us to our path. The realistic plan advised to make previously is much easier with the update. In all choices encountered, every possible right or left turn, we can decide according to the balance we have found. Trusting in the decision made will be sufficient in following the path step by step, turn by turn. Now, all that is necessary is to be patient and keep skiing until you are at the skirts of the mountain. Thanks to the balance found that allows for easier decision making, struggles found while skiing will be less of a problem and you will be able to keep moving without serious complications. Trusting in this decision and using intuition does not necessarily mean not needing a plan or letting go of things. Your way of conducting your plan should continue, just with a helpful adjustment.

One thing to add would be that be tentative in following the paths of others before you. Studying the patterns they had with their skis like the structure of the ‘S’ shapes they made may be helpful but it is likely that they reached the extremes of their choices and went through the same process as you but differently. They may have used a snowboard, or their final destination was different. Maybe they took a different path to a similar destination. It is also possible that those people generally had different extremes considering their possible choices due to their style of assessing paths or the forest may have had a slightly different structure then. I cannot speak against studying others before you and even having examples but copying their process is unlikely to work. The extremes you’ll find, what you’ll find in yourself at those extremes are most definitely different than anybody else. There may be similarities, fine. But it will certainly be different. What is most likely is that your character is unique. Your thresholds, way of handling situations nearing those thresholds, actions when thresholds are exceeded, thoughts when thresholds are pushed, exceeded, even questioned, these are probably unique to you. Since nobody alive or dead else has or had the same attributes, copying another’s work won’t work. It is also that since only you have these attributes, probably only you can understand their nature properly. So, this may be a one-person job to undertake. A journey alone. I am only telling you what is likely, this does not mean reject help. If a ski patrol comes to you offering help, rejecting may not be the correct choice. That is up to you. Accept that your path in the forest can only be fully figured out by you and that the path is yours and only yours, but don’t be too quick to reject a helping hand. After all, it is a helping hand. You don’t get those all that often.